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|Saturday, February 27th, 2010|
|Past Sins, Guilt and Friends
Sometimes things you've said or done in the past can have very serious impact. I realised that 3 of my very good friends have been impacted by my actions in engineering college.
I had a party at home and had invited a few friends. After a few drinks, conversations started to flow and the topic of one such conversation was I.
What they said
1. He is a man with double standards.
I kind of kept quiet about this, consoling myself that everybody has the right to have an opinion.
2. He has said/done things in college, that affect me even to this day.
Hmmm...I don't deny it but you didn't complain 8 yrs ago when I said/done it.
3. You don't tell us about your personal life. But you want to know everything about our lives.
In case you didn't notice it is 'personal' life. If you want to discuss your personal life, be my guest,but don't expect me to do the same.
4. You don't tell us about your friends (especially the female ones).
:-). Why would 3 married men want to know about my female friends.
5. You are, to an extent, responsible for "disciple" severing his relationship with us.
Many more things were said. Some strong enough to pierce right through you.
What I learnt
1. Nobody forgets things. Even if they are the closest friends you have, they would always wait for a chance to get back at you. (sometimes even 8 years)
2. Understand that your friends are also human. And they show normal human emotions like vengeance and anger.
3. Don't be reckless with your friends' hearts. Know your limits.
4. Don't assume that you can be your normal self with your friends. Some people expect you to behave in a particular way. Tread cautiously.
5. Most importantly, never lose control of yourself. Most people encourage you to do it under the pretext of saying "be yourself". Everybody enjoys it when you lose control and nobody warns you about crossing the limits, but you will find no support when these things show up as ugly unwanted situations you don't want to face.
Whoosh!!...Some party. Current Mood: lonely
|Wednesday, December 30th, 2009|
|Wednesday, November 18th, 2009|
|Thursday, May 28th, 2009|
RIP PGR Current Mood: sad
|Sunday, May 24th, 2009|
|Tuesday, May 19th, 2009|
"Dude..u vent out ur anger, frustration in blogs...good ...very much required for a stressful, frustrated life..."
An interesting comment made me look back at my blogs. amrutsk was right. Barring a few, my blogs are a collection of accusations and rants. :-). And I haven't blogged for a few months, implying that I have been a happier person. Anyway, my brilliantly capricious mind has found 2 more interesting things to do. Playing the Keyboard and Running...( There was the guitar and cycling a few months back and not to forget the sketching, 6-packs etc..etc..etc.). I have learnt to play a couple of tunes on the keyboard and I run a good 12-15kms over the weekend. It's funny how childish I've become. I want to do everything :-)). Anyway it's fun and it keeps me fit.
The "hate-for-the-entire-world" has subsided. I made a conscious effort to refrain from blogging until the 'hate' subsides. I guess I'm back to normal and will blog more often.
Talking about blogs, I wonder why I blog. :-? Current Mood: hopeful
|Monday, February 16th, 2009|
|I see....dumb people.....
SCREW'EM ALL!!! I don't give a rat's ass!!Be late, be unprofessional, be stupid, screw yourself. I don't care.
It makes me more than happy to say these words today. I'm happy and relieved. :-)) Current Mood: relieved
|Wednesday, January 21st, 2009|
I hate almost everyone. I can't find a sane reason to this unusually mystic feeling of hatred in me. Friends, Foes, Colleagues, acquaintance - I hate them all. Now looking back, I can't find a single reason why. It's just a general feeling of hatred to everything and everyone. Weird.
Could it be an excessive love for oneself? Or Could it be the rebel in me rebelling against everything after a long period of boredom? The things I have said and done for the last few months have been weird, funny and occasionally regretful. I need sanity.
"When we hate someone we are hating something that is within ourselves, in his image."
-Pistorius in Herman Hesse's Demian
"Bhura jo dhekan mei chala, bhura na miliya koi,
Jo dil khojan aapana, mujhse bhura no koi"
[Evil, I sought in the world, none I got,
Evil, I sought in me, found more evil than can ever be]
-Kabir Current Mood: grumpy
|Friday, January 2nd, 2009|
|How I spent the last few days of 2008
Starting Dec 26th
Day 1 - Party with college friends.
Day 2 Morning - Finish left over beverages.
Day 2 - Bowling at Amoeba and Beer at Styx.
Day 2 Evening - Party at home with school friends.
Day 3 wee hours - Coffee at Mysore Road Coffee Day
Day 3 Afternoon - Finish the left over beverages.
Day 3 evening - Finish left over beverages.
Day 4 Evening - Session at La Casa.
Day 5 - Session at La Casa after basketball.
Day 6 New year's eve - Drink all the way to Madikeri.Party at Madikeri
Day 7 - Drink all the way back to Bangalore
And by the way...hic.., Happppp...hic..ppy New year ...hic!!
**The following actions were performed by an extremely fun-starved and vastly experienced(in drinking) professional with the company of extremely insane people. Trying this alone can be dangerous. Current Mood: crazy
|Saturday, August 2nd, 2008|
Sometimes when somebody reads out your performance review and lists down your "achievements" and "short comings", you just giveup Hope.You realize that nobody in the organization would even come close to understanding the intensity of your commitment or the criticality of your so called achievement.
When a job is completed, the doer never realizes the importance of what he has done. It is only in hindsight that you realize the impact of the job done. And to me that realization occurred when somebody read out my review without a word being uttered about the job I thought was my most important achievement of the year. Well, you can either fight it or ignore it. I made a mistake deciding to do the latter. After 4 weeks I still haven't come to grips with my review at office. I feel cheated.
Anyway. here's a list of do's and don'ts for a good review:
1. Suck up to your boss. Never be honest with your opinions. Say "yes" to everything and you stay out of trouble. Be in good terms with the person and always give him the impression that you idolize him.
2. Be polite. Meaning - if you feel like smacking someone on the face for the dumbest of the comment ever heard, politely say "Thats a great point but I have to disagree..."
3. Never try to be too technical with idiots. Especially when you are in QA. You will be shot right on the head with a long speech starting with the phrase "From a Customers' perspective..." and ending with "...achieving Great product quality".
4. Never try to justify the power of automation or explain it's importance. The answer you would get is "..Where's the time to do this" .People think repeating the same tests manually again and again (and again^infinity) saves a lot of time.
5. Don't be too professional. A display of professional ethics can lead to you being branded an idealist or a Hypocrite.
6. Be very vocal about your salary. That might help people sympathize with you and recommend a hike.
7. Don't help members of the other teams with trainings, interviews or Analysis of test failures.
8. If you are a subject matter expert, make sure all the help you provide to others is noticed by your manager.
9. Don't waste your weekends trying to help a teammate resolve issues or on escalations. You don't have to care about the release going out in time .
10. Don't waste breath and energy trying to explain the importance of good code knowledge. You will hear somebody saying "QA should not look at code..."
11. Finally, if you are a Computer Science Engineer and want to do justice to your 4 years of engineering knowledge get out of QA or work under a technical manager(I would suggest the former,to find a technical guy in QA is like trying to find a non-existent black cat in a dark room). Current Mood: crushed
|Tuesday, June 17th, 2008|
|Accidents, a Marriage and a new member to the family!
The last 2 months of my life have been a mixture of things. Accidents and a marriage being the most unforgettable ones. It all started the day I landed in India after a 3-week visit to the US. I was so blinded by the fact that a beautiful damsel was riding a bike next to mine, I failed to see an electric pole in front of me. Luckily, it wasn't too late when I did see it. I escaped with the bike's footrest taking a devastating hit. 2 weeks later my brand new car was hit from behind by a Tata-207. 10-12 cars moving on the road at a speed of 20Kmph lead by a "super-fast" Tipper, so fast that even our ex-president Shankar Dayal Sharma would have walked past it without a sweat, and our Tatawala decides he has to go faster, even if there is a brand new Hyundai verna 5ft ahead of him. THUD!!Dicky, Bumper and tail-lamp needing replacement. And 2 weeks later, when I'm all set for my most awaited 10day time off from work, a drunk auto driver decided to teach me the ways of Drunken driving. He collided into my bike on a 80ft wide road with just 3 vehicles on it- a car, my bike and the auto. It's only when he crossed the whiteline ,dividing the lanes, to enter the wrong side of the road that I realized that the stupid autodriver was drowsing away to glory. It looked like the auto and the car drivers had decided to set me up with split second timing. The car's speed was just enough to hold me back so that the auto would have no difficulty targeting me.
Bike - bent handle, Bent fork, Damaged petrol tank, broken brake lever, broken foot rests etc.
My Body - Broken right ring finger, Deep lesion on my shin-deep enough to see my bone, injured shoulder.
Amidst all this chaos my brother got married. Sadly for my brother who returned from the US,on the day of my accident, my accident stole the limelight of his marriage. There were more "Get well soon" wishes for me than there were "Happy married life"s to him ;-).The BBMP also did their bit to add a little to the chaos. They found the 3KM drive from my house to the marriage hall too smooth a drive, so they dug up roads to elongate the decent 3Km route to a 6Km route via hell. Still unsatisfied, in an effort to connect two drains they made sure the phone lines to the entire area were ripped. All this with the marriage coming up in a week.
Amidst all this tension and drama my brother did get married. We now have a new member to my family. My Atthige "S". Current Mood: happy
|Thursday, May 22nd, 2008|
Sleazy and Dirty. All have contributed to this situation today. Some by inactivity, some by sucking up to their superiors and some by not being professional when the situation demanded them to be their professional best. And now, a few will be kicked out, a few run-away and the rest stay back with a bad taste in their mouth. Probably the worst phase of my professional life!!! Current Mood: sick
|Sunday, January 20th, 2008|
Hangover,Body-ache and a little bit of embarrassment.
Hey, use www.sunomusic.com to listen to latest bollywood music.
|Sunday, December 23rd, 2007|
|This happens only in India!!
TOI LeadIndia series.
A forum where self proclaimed intellectuals "find Leaders" to lead the country. The 'vacant' Leadership position is advertised for, using a bunch of "no good" celebrities. The candidates post their resumes. The selected candidates are put through an interview process. The judges are a bunch of famous people(some sensible and some not). The few candidates who make it through to the later stages of this "contest" are mentored by a few people(again some really good and some not as good). These candidates are asked more questions by the intelligentsia . A final decision is made and ...Lo, Behold!A Leader has arrived!
1. Celebrities who can handle themselves well in front of the media and who can communicate well don't guarantee good leaders.
2. Not all business tycoons make good leaders. They are great businessmen, not leaders.(kinda debatable..)
3. Celebrities don't know everything. You need subject matter experts as judges and not "Javed Akthar" or "Mahesh Bhat".
4. Audience in the studio don't represent the entire nation. They don't represent all classes of the society and hence an appreciation from them doesn't mean the whole nation agrees to it.
Finally Leaders are not "selected" in "studios".
Here's a question asked to one of the candidate
"In which category did Sholay(the movie) win it's only filmfare award?" - Kiss my A** category!!
One more example. This time the candidate screwed up
"Who was first Indian to have a wax statue in Madam Tussauds wax museum?"
The answer given was - "Sachin Tendulkar". Mr.Mohan Das Karamchand Gandhi, it's confirmed now. We have completely forgotten you. You will soon be wiped out of our history books too.
Paah!!! Current Mood: apathetic
|Friday, December 7th, 2007|
|Tuesday, November 27th, 2007|
Talk Less!! Current Mood: irritated
|Friday, November 9th, 2007|
|WFH-Not liking it!
We have atleast 3-4 WFH mails in a week. I don't like it. It initially came as a shock to me when I moved in here. Now I have got used to it. There's hardly a day in the week when we have full attendance. WFH is a nice facility. But it is a bit annoying to see people considering it a liberty and misusing it. So much for Basic corporate discipline. Why would a company waste so much money and give you an amazingly spacious cube with all the great facilities when you want to spend your entire work-day at home. And you ask for goodies like Bean-Bags, when you spend a quarter of your working week at home. Flexible timings facility - walk in any time you want and leave any time you want as long as you complete your work- is also provided. Why would you work from home when you have this? God knows.
I might be idealistic in my view, but the truth is without strong professional discipline one can never understand the value of a team or an organization or a Company. Maybe thats what differentiates a great team from an ordinary one. It's not just the restrictions that a corporation puts on the employees that make or break a great working place, but also, how responsible an employee is in using the freedom given to him.
Medical reasons and personal work are atleast excusable. But if you work from home on a friday only because you have a holiday on thursday is unforgivable. We need to learn....learn a lot. Nobody's fault. I just don't like it.
WFH - Working from Home or WHAT the F*** is HAPPENING? Current Mood: annoyed
|Thursday, November 8th, 2007|
S's changed job
K's bought a new bike. A cool looking bajaj pulsar 220cc.
M's got a cute looking newphew.
Su's back in bangalore for a few months.
D's visiting India.
I lost a 4.5K watch. Somebody stole it in the gym.
A's taking CAT.
And its Diwali. Who says things aren't happening? HAPPY DIWALI!!! Current Mood: happy
|Monday, October 22nd, 2007|
|Fahrenheit 104 & a few Realizations
I fell badly sick this weekend. 104 F. That was my body temperature. It took huge doses of parental love and antibiotics to get over this. I felt like a small child, my Mother spoon-feeding me and my Father holding my hand whenever I decided to get off the bed. Sometimes you feel you are being pampered. Anyway, it was a wonderful break off work. Though sick, I didn't have to worry about bugs, defects and filling in our test-report tool and I could thoroughly savor the love at home.
A few realizations occurred to me this weekend:
1. The only purpose of your life is to LIVE it. There is no better purpose of life than to live it. Don't search too much. As the protagonist in the movie Shawshank redemption says "I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying.".
2. Definition of Immigrant by one Ambrose Bierce. It's on today's papers (TOI).
IMMIGRANT. "An unenlightened person who thinks one country to be better than another."
Well, not that I agree of it. But it's kinda given me some direction in thinking about getting out of India. My "Ee desha namgalla" dialogue has now changed to "Ee desha namgena?". A negative statement to an interrogative. Not bad. Might as well turn into an assertive someday.
With a body that has both it's major taps running for 2 days, my mind couldn't think beyond these two.
And the icing to the weekend was Raikkonen's win. The "ICEMAN" won the 2007 F1 Driver's Championship amidst a lot of hype and hoopla hovering Hamilton and Alonso's rivalry. It is a weird world, way too weird. Kimi had won 5 races and the other 2 had 4 wins each and yet Kimi was trailing in the Driver's championship. Reminds me of what Steve Prefontaine said. What did he say? In my next blog.... Current Mood: cheerful
|Thursday, October 4th, 2007|
"You've lost your smile man.It's been a while since you smiled. The only time I have seen you smile is when you ridicule others.I have seen you laugh but it is really lifeless.Is there something wrong? You can talk to us if you want.You really need to get back to normal" said his friend
"I know what's the problem with you man. You are really confused. You don't know what you want" commented the colleague
"oh...is it?" remarked NM sarcastically
A minute of silence.Probably the longest minute of silence in NM's life till date.It felt like a century. He avoided all eye contact and kept staring at the tea cup in his hand. He knew he could start his complaints. About his work, about his life, about the city, about the traffic jams about everything he could think of. He had been doing this for a year now. It was a habit now.
An then NM spoke "Let's get back to work!!"
And he walked away. Current Mood: relieved